Having watched the movie 2012 at the weekend it seemed like a good time to re-post my ramblings on the Mayan calendar and other ideas about the end of history.

2012 the movie is what you'd expect of Hollywood: Sickeningly bland American characters, an abysmal script, a healthy dose of cheese and some million dollar special effects. Overall a pretty poor excuse for quality entertainment, apart from a blinding performance from Woody Harleson as the crazed pirate radio DJ and end-of-the-world blog author and whistle-blower. His hammy, drug-influenced rantings and cartoon animation explain the basic theory of the 2012 plot: Extraordinarily large solar flares shower the world in solar radiation, reacting with Earth's liquid core, causing it to heat up to the point that the Earth's crust starts waltzing about, leading to the destruction of life as we know it...

The Mayan's 'knew it was coming', because they'd worked out the planets were all going to line up and that 'something' was going to happen... Why else would they have designed a calendar which ends in 2012? But that's about as much reality as the film needs, before descending into glorified Armageddon and the most spectacular 'escape the crack' extravaganza you've ever seen! 2012 Carnage(Think car, then plane, racing away from an imploding Earth's surface – dodging explosions and tube trains falling out of the sky – nice.)


But the movie does at least provide a theory (albeit very similar to The Day After Tomorrow - Roland Emmerich's other disaster classic) as to what is going to happen in 2012. Part of the wonder of the Mayan calendar, for me at least, is that nobody quite knows what's supposed to happen when it ends.


It's a question I'm often asked when espousing the theory that things are going to change and one which lacks a satisfactory conclusion. Most theories are surrounded in as much controversy as Nostradamous but collectively, to me at least, they still adds weight to the idea that something might change.

The rate of inventions over timeMy personal favourite 2012 theory is based on a graph that a boffin from Brunel plotted when we were at University. From studying patent records and applications and working backwards to the wheel, he calculated the approximate number of inventions over time. In cave man's day there weren't such good records, but for several hundreds of years there have been. The assembled results soon showed the characteristics of a classic exponential curve, which went vertical in about 2012. Well, maybe it's nonsense but if you think about what that means it's a theory with some serious ramifications.


If the rate of inventions is infinite, we can have whatever we can think! Now that reminds me of the 'replicator' from Star Trek which produces bowls of fruit, or steaming Earl Grey as Captain Picard and the crew demand. But if you think about the claims that science makes these-days perhaps it's not so far fetched after-all... If they can build 'mini motors' and ears on the back of mice by fiddling with and constructing things out of individual atoms, all we need are some kindly open source dudes to upload the blue-prints for our everything that's ever been made and voilà, with an internet connected atom builder at our disposal we CAN create whatever we want!

OK, so that's probably not going to happen by 2012, but it represents a plausible paradigm shift which could seriously alter the course of our future.


My only other theory is that the Mayan emphasis on 2012 being the end of 'his' story is possibly the most significant and realistic truth. There is no denying the male dominance of history as we know it, from the brute force of the cave man's club to the slightly more sickening sexism which pervades the corridors of power today. The forces of Ying and Yang are not supposed to be pitted against each other, but co-exist in a harmonic balance. If the matriarch had been allowed a bit more of a say to date we would probably have avoided many of the issues that plague our World today. Try telling that to the bloke up the pub and you'll get the standard 'there'd be a war every 28 days if women were in charge' retort, but lets face it, they couldn't do much worse than the patriarch have done and by 2012 it will be high time for a bit of compassion and understanding and intuitive leadership, something men seem to have failed to deliver.



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